WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN...
So you move across the country expecting the next big fairy tale to be yours. You dream about meeting the perfect guy in the cutest way possible. Maybe you bump into him on your walk to the subway, and as you're passing you catch his and it's love at first site. Or, maybe you're out at you favorite bar and from afar you feel his eyes on you as the waitress brings over a glass of their most expensive red.
If you're thinking to yourself, "man this girl has watched too many episodes of SATC and may be completely delusional, you'd be right.
My expectations since moving to the city have been completely shattered and yet, I wake up happier, wiser and more courageous with each day that passes. So I thought, why don't I give yall a few tips on how to get acclimated to a new city when you're expectations aren't met and how to bounce back!
Tip #1: Don't compare your life to anything you see on TV, Social Media, or a past weekend trip.
- TV Show Comparison: I mean Gossip Girl, SITC, Girls
- Social Media Comparison: Every blogger, fitness expert, rich Becky on insta/twitter/fb
- Trip Comparison: Prior to moving here, I'd spent 4 consecutive days actually in NYC and had the best time of my life and in fact was the reason I ultimately decided to move back East
Learning: No TV show, short trip or someone's personal experience should be an indication of what it'll be like to actually LIVE in a different city. Believe me, I've moved around quite a bit and each time I've been surprised by how "different" it's turned out. But different based off of what?? Because it sounds like you (I) had nothing solid to compare it to. When you take a moment to realize that life....
Tip #2: GET INVOLVED.
I don't care what you get involved in, though I hope it's productive, healthy and pushes you outside you comfort zone. Find something that gives you a sense of connection to this new life you're creating and allows you the opportunity to meet like minded (or even different minded) individuals. For me fitness has become one of the easiest ways of getting connected so I joined BRICK and literally from day one felt like everyone welcomed me with open arms! It was nothing short of amazing. I also had another fitness community in Tone It Up, which I've been following their nutrition plan for years AND they have groups in pretty much every major city. I also started taking free improv classes whenever those popped up. This gave me more of a creative outlet that pushed me outside of my comfort zone AND also made me realize on a more personal note that there's this side of me that really loves to perform...which duh.
Learning: GET INVOLVED IN ANY AND EVERYTHING
Tip #3: Check your ego at the door.
Truthfully, I can't even take credit for this one because someone I look up to very much is responsible for this peace of advice. However, once I heard her say this to me, I've told this to at least 3 other individuals since. The hardest part about allowing yourself to get accustomed to a new city, with new people, and life without old friends and family (at least for me) is that you have this sense of "I have to make it seem as though things are great, or else I'm a failure," or maybe it's "I'm too embarrassed to admit that I'd sad and lonely." Well WHO THE FUCK CARES. Excuse my French, but who will think you're a failure and who are you embarrassed from? What I've learned about myself is that I'm soooo worried about how I come off to other people when I'm the one living MY life. So what I moved to New York and quit my "dream job" in the matter of months and spent my first few weeks vegging out on my couch. Who cares that I, for a split second, thought about quickly ending my time in New York to head back to Minneapolis. You have to live your life for you and your happiness and if you're not content or you need a change, guess what? Freaking do it. Don't let the thought of what others could think stop you from greatness.
Learning: You can only be as happy as you'll let yourself be. You can only be successful as you let yourself feel. And you should always, always lookout for you. Thanks Jen.
There are a bagillion other tid-bits of advice that I could leave yall with but that's it for now. Maybe I'll start to post entries about weekly tips on what I've learned? We'll see. Let me know of what you'd like tips on and hey, I'm not a shrink so I can't promise anything, but I've been told that I give really good advice :)