LOVE & THE PURSUIT OF THE PERFECT RIGHT SWIPE.
Dating is an absolute B-I-T-C..you know the rest. When you're young, smart, educated, witty and clearly humble, who would think that at 26 you'd still be single? NOT I!
And to think, there was a point in my life where I dreaded the idea of having a serious man in my life. Oh no ma'am! I was in college, single and ready to mingle and no man was standing in my way. Sure, there was the occasional long term fling but then a few months later there wasn't.
Fast forward to being 22, out of college, and in the Mid-freaking-West where it gets so cold you literally get a brain freeze walking to work. It was time for me to hunker down a little bit. Did I need to find my forever boo right then and there? No, but I needed a warm body or I might actually freeze to death.
Dating Apps might have been the best thing invented than since avocado toast and I've become a master at it! I've got openers that will even make your mom fall in love with me. Don't have a profile bio? Oh I'll find a little something, something in one of your photos to comment on.
Wanna know the method to the madness? Well here we go:
Solo pictures: There is nothing worse than messaging someone thinking he's one person only to find out he's the shorty on side.
Sleep on it: I'm a PM swiper. I like to climb into bed, get all cozy and set my sights on the future Mr. Sha Goode. However, I'll refrain from messaging until at least 12 hours later. I know, I'm playing games but I can't always fully trust my PM mind. I'm tired, my vision's foggy, I'm stressed out. So I like to hop on the very next day and confirm my yay or nay.
Don't trust a man that leads with his accent: Plain and simple, if his bio mentions anything about him being Australian, British or anything that is coming out of a James Bond movie. DON'T do it. Now, if you're just fishin for a fixin--you do you.
Don't put all of your eggs in one basket: I feel like a loon saying this but whatever, I'm on every freaking app that's out there. Especially in a city like New York, I'm out numbered! There are too many beautiful men and not nearly as many females. What do they say in investing..."Diversify yo ASSets, bitches."
Set a weekly/monthly quota: I personally like to go on a date a week. Is that a lot? Maybe but then again, I'm not the one paying (my momma taught me right). I believe that all men should pay for at least the first date. So there's really not much for me to lose. That being said, I've found that dating in this city is more about having fun and meeting new people than anything. If my husband comes out of it, great but if not, I've met new people, had free drinks, kissed a few frogs and lived to tell about.
P.S. The only exception I have for my sleep on it rule would be a tall auburn headed man with a well manicured beard. If you're reading this and know someone who fits that description lmk.