I've come to the end of my very first Christmas here in NYC and I can't believe in a few short months my first year! 

I know it's been way too long since I last posted on my blog, but I swear it's with good reason. You see, something that I've learned about myself and honestly have always known is that I like to bite off WAY more than I can chew. Therefore, I had to take a step back to focus on some really cool stuff, which I'll get to in a future post I swear! 

For now however, let's focus on my first Christmas in the city. 

As yall know, I moved to NYC because something magical was calling my name here, but boy that magic had nothing on the magic of Christmas in the city. The lights, the retail window displays, the not too cold but cold enough weather. I love NYC this time of year. Especially for someone who grew up on Hallmark movies and dreaming of a white Christmas, I couldn't have been more in awe.

As beautiful as the city has been this month, I couldn't help but feel myself begin to dread Christmas Day itself as it drew closer and closer. For someone who's moved around as much as I have, there have been plenty-o Thanksgivings, birthdays and other holidays that I've spent away from loved ones. However, I have never ever spent Christmas Day away from those I love and my mom in particular. So when I woke up this morning with a grey cloud over my head, I admittedly called my mom and within seconds the child inside of me started balling my eyes out. I wasn't cheery, or with glee at all. I was unbelievably sad and lonely and had to put down my phone because scrolling through my Insta feed with the numerous pictures of friends (and strangers) with their families wasn't helping one bit.  

I did what I do best when I'm feeling sad and I decided to workout. My roommate and I went to a SoulCycle class (which btw I used to spin at least twice a week and legit haven't been on a bike in MONTHS) and I rode so hard that you'd think the freaking police were after my ass.

Though I must admit, that after spin, I wasn't jumping for joy and completely cured of my sadness, it did help me push past it so that I could do all of the things that I told myself I would do on my first Christmas day in the city. So I headed back home, put on some make-up, ordered some Chinese food (I swear I was Jewish in a past life) because calories don't count on Christmas (or any other Holiday for that matter). Then I proceeded to sit in front of the TV watching Hallmark movies all day. The last thing on my perfectly basic, first Christmas in the City list, was to head on over to the Rockefeller tree. 

Que the Magic. That moment, was exactly what I needed to patch my semi-broken heart. Even in the 30 degree weather, there was something about walking through the crowds of idiot tourists that don't know how to move to the side of the street instead of stopping in the middle, that allowed me to breathe in a bit of that Christmas spirit that had left me. I found kind strangers to take my pictures on occasion and of course took a handful of #shameless. 

Every Holiday season, I try and take away a new lesson or outlook with me into the New Year. So in a year that has brought so much change, I've learned that it's so easy to get bogged down in the things that you lose after change, that it becomes hard to appreciate the growth that comes from change. Yes, this Christmas was without a doubt, a difficult one for me BUT I was able to find the beauty in my surroundings which isn't something that I've ever really been able to do. That's, dare I call it, a Christmas Miracle.

Anyway, I truly hope that this Holiday season has brought you all that you've hoped and prayed for.